Gotham Cupcakes
by Shark Lord
Summary: A new bakery has opened up and soon some residents and criminals are disappearing and not even Batman knows what's going on. Is Joker somehow behind this or is this new resident to blame?
1. A new Bakery

**We knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I'm NOT abandoning my other fics, I just got inspiration block and I will get my stories up when I get out of the block. Read and review.**

 **Gotham City: Building for Rent**

In a part of Gotham where crime seems to be the least affected by criminal activity, a lone figure was standing outside a building that has been recently built. The figure was five feet six and had fluffy pink hair, light pink skin and blue eyes. The figure was casting a smile that would give even Joker himself the creeps.

"What a glorious place to set up shop. Soon everyone will have a smile in their lives." The woman said as she gotten a balloon out and inflated it. The woman giggled as she set the balloon free. Some moving trucks soon came and emptied some crates.

"Alright Ms. Pie, your delivery is done. I don't know how you'll make a difference to Gotham, but good luck with your business." A delivery man told the woman. "Please I prefer to be called Pinkie, Ms. Pie is my mother." Pinkie said as both she and the man chuckled at the pun.

The movers had left Pinkie after the last crate was delivered. Pinkie Pie then started to unload the crates and spotted some sharp knives in a case that was double guarded. "Soon, yes very soon the fun shall begin." Pinkie told herself in a creepy way. A baby bearded dragon with blue eyes popped out of her hair and looked around.

"Aww Gummy did you just wake up from your nap? I love you my little buddy❤️." Pinkie said as she rubbed her face against the lizard. "I love you more," said Pinkie in a childish voice for her pet.

 **Arkham Asylum**

A five foot six tall man with clown white skin, green hair and eyes, yellow teeth and a permanent smile was looking out the window. The man was wearing a purple suit, tan pants, and a flower. This is none other than the famous Joker.

"Hmm, why can't I shake this feeling that some new punk is going to give me some competition?" Joker asked himself seeing as he was the only man in the cell. A guard approached the Joker with a deadly grin and reached in his pocket for something.

"Ohh, what did you bring with you? A gun, some pictures of Batman being beated up, ohh or my get out of Arkham free card?" Joker asked the man, but what he had was something that made Joker confused. The man had some earplugs in his hands and the Joker raised an eyebrow at the guard.

"Now that is just plain rude, I just wanted to have a conversation and you bring out earplugs? Hold on a minute what are you doing with that IPod? Uh now that I think about it why does my cell have speakers?" Joker nervously asked the man and was soon given his answer in the most hilarious way.

 _ **"You know you want me. You know you care. I'll be there."**_ Joker heard on full blast and his eyes grew wide in fear. The Clown Prince of Crime has been given a new torture, Five Hours of Hell. "Oh Hell no," said a terrified Joker as he knew what the song was.

After a good amount of torture Joker was banging his head on the wall trying to get the song out of his head. "Since when did the idiots of Arkham get smarter? Huh?" Joker said as the balloon Pinkie inflated reached his window. The balloon popped in Joker's face and confetti and slobber covered the Joker's face.

"Hmm I think I should let Zasz know there is a new face, hey Zasz~" Joker said as was met with a bald man just an inch shorter then him. The man is the local serial murderer of men and women, Victor Zasz. "What do you want? I was trying to sleep and had a wonderful dream of an attractive lady singing baby to me." Zasz said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Zasz that wasn't a woman you were dreaming about, that was Justin Bieber, but enough of that I think you should meet a new face. Here use some of this confetti to track her...wait do you have a bloodhound nose?" Joker told the man and was given a nod for an answer.

Zasz then opened a secret passage way that led to the sewers. After passing pass Killer Croc and some hobos that seemed to taken resistance in the drain. "How is it Croc never met or eaten these zombies?" Zasz asked himself before he picked up Pinkies scent and popped out of the sewers.

 **Authors Notes: what do you think will happen when Pinkie and Zasz cross paths? Will Zasz win or will Pinkie Pie make him wish he never met her?**


	2. Zasz's Last Game

**Here we go the first criminal against Pinkie. Read and review**

 **Pinkie's Apartment**

Six months later Pinkie Pie was minding her own business watching TV when someone knocked on her door. Pinkie Pie had a grin on her face knowing who was at the door. 'If Mr. Zasz thinks I'm going down so easily then he is very wrong.' Pinkie thought to herself as she gotten a cupcake and a needle.

When Pinkie opened the door she was greeted by a panting Zasz. The man appeared to have been running from something. "There...you...are. *pant* Do...you...have any idea...how long I've been searc...hing for you?" Zasz tiredly told the pink girl. Pinkie Pie silently gave a dark chuckle at how the killer had a long time tracking her down.

"Aww how sad, you were trying to look for little old me. Why didn't you just find me in the phone book? Oh well have a cupcake Zasz." Pinkie said as she offered the scarred man a treat. Zasz was confused at how this girl was not afraid of him, but figured she was just delusional and the least he could do was to eat the treat before he gets to work.

"I normally don't take food from zombies but finding you took a lot out of me." Zasz said and noticed that Pinkie gave off a smile that told him something was off about the woman. "I think you watched too many zombie movies Mr. Zasz, do I look like a decaying corpse to you?" Pinkie joked as Zasz ate the cupcake.

"Thank you for the treat, but I'm afraid you...must...*yawn* Why am...I...tired?" Zasz groggily asked as he fell asleep on Pinkie's floor. "Teehee looks like I get to have a lot of fun with you. Let's get you down to my bakery. Oh Gummy~ Would you like to come with me?" Pinkie said as Gummy jumped into his owner's frizzle hairdo.

Pinkie Pie picked up Zasz's unconscious body without breaking a sweat. The pink woman seemed to have been lifting weights in her spare time. "Hey Mr. Author could you please hurry up?" Pinkie told the author as she stared at me with a face.

 **Unknown Basement**

Zasz had awoken from his little nap to find himself strapped down to a slab. "Are you awake yet? Goody goody~" Pinkie said as she came into view. Zasz tried to move but the straps were too strong.

"A sex dungeon or a torture room for your zombie needs?" Zasz asked as he stared at Pinkie Pie. However as his eyes adjusted to the darkness he really thought she was insane, and he's from Arkham Asylum.

"Oh Mr. Zasz, you shouldn't really have a bad output on life. I told you I am not a zombie in fact how do I know _your_ not a zombie? You should have been nicer to people because now..." Pinkie started as she reached behind her back for something.

"Do you realize that I am not a zombie? Who goes around accusing someone of being...oh right that would be me." Zasz said before realizing that Pinkie wasn't finished with him yet.

"Let's begin our party now!" Pinkie said as she lighted up the room revealing various organ balloons, bone chairs, stuffed animals including a faux blue Pegasi with a party hat on.

"We'll start with a game called 'Fill in the meme,' It's easy I'll say a sentence with a missing section and all you have to do is guess what goes in the blank." Pinkie said as she brought out what appeared to be a Macarena from her back. Zasz had no choice but to play this psycho's little game.

"Snoo...usual I see. Guess what goes in there and if you give the right answer then we'll proceed with the meme," said Pinkie as she sat in a bone chair with Gummy on her lap.

"Uh ping as?" Zasz said and Pinkie clapped her hands in joy and pulled off her Macarena's head to reveal a knife sharp enough to cut through bone. "Now if you say it fast you get Pingas. Do you know that is Spanish for something a male has and what you had?" Pinkie said as she walked closer to the traumatized man.

"What part would that be?" Zasz asked and got his answer when Pinkie made a swift slice and took away his penis. "FFFUUUUCCCCKKK YOU SLICED MY LITTLE ZASZ!" Zasz screamed as blood gushed out of his private area that once had his dick.

"Wow you really have a small pingas Mr. Zasz, oh well I guess I can send this to my friend Celestia for her collection. Now to finish the job~" sung Pinkie as she sliced out Zasz's organs and his eyes.

After an hour an a half off collecting organs Pinkie picked up Zasz's remains and gathered some odor eliminating wood and chucked both into a furnace to burn. Pinkie laughed like a maniac on a sugar rush as she picked up the organs and proceeded to her kitchen to bake some 'Z' cakes.

 **Authors Notes there you go Zasz has been killed and Pinkie gets to share something from her victim to a friend of hers. Stay tuned**


	3. Joker gets a gift

**Well I know you've been wondering when the next chapter would be up. Are you ready for Pinkie?**

 **Sugarcube Corner**

Pinkie Pie arrived to work wearing a baker's uniform. The uniform had three balloons in red, yellow, and blue on the front side. Pinkie had a name tag that read 'Pinkamena Diane Pie' on it along with a picture of her with Gummy in her hair.

"Okee dokey loki, let's get ready for some smiles~" Pinkie sung as she gotten the ingredients needed for her baked goods.

It was thirty minutes until Pinkie got her first customer. Her customer was a well built man with black hair, a black business suit and gray formal pants. This is Bruce Wayne the billionaire.

"Hello Mr. Wayne, how may I help you?" Pinkie Pie chirped as she waved to the man.

"Good morning Ms. Pie is it? May I order a chocolate chip muffin?" Bruce Wayne asd the baker.

"Of course Mr. Wayne, coming right upㇸ6" said Pinkie as she went to work on the muffin.

Pinkie appeared a minute later with a fresh chocolate chip muffin for the billionaire. "That will be $1.25 please," Pinkie said as Bruce gave her the exact amount.

"Thank you for the muffin Ms. Pie," said Bruce as Pinkie waved him goodbye.

"Alright Gummy, we made our first customer happy~ Now we can get down to business, finding out how to cover up Zasz's scent in our cupcakes." Pinkie told Gummy as she petted him.

Pinkie went down into the basement of the building and stared at the body of Zasz.

A sinister smile spread across her face and she picked up her sharp knives to slice off the deceased killer's meat.

Pinkie giggled to herself as she gotten each of the man's organs out and placed each in separate containers marked with the organs names.

"Hehehe, my first kill in the city and it was a serial killer. Oh I can't wait for the next number to come up." Pinkie giggled at the crime.

 **Arkham Asylum**

Joker was still furious that the guards had the nerve to put him through that song. if he was being honest, he wished he thought of it first.

"God damn it if Harley ever buys that idiots merchandise, I'm going to have 'borrow' a flamethrower from Firehead." Joker said as he clenched his head.

A guard came by with a box addressed specifically for Joker. Joker gave a grin that the guard immediately wiped off with his next sentence.

"Package for you, don't get any ideas it isn't a bomb. We gotten new bomb indicators," said the night guard. Of course Joker gave the guard the finger and accepted the box.

Curious on who would give him a gift, Joker opened the box and was confused to see a cupcake and a note with a bloody balloon design.

'Your friend had messed with the wrong person. Enjoy the cupcake Joker );)' Joker read as he held the cupcake in his right hand.

"Who the fuck is this nut talking about!? Hold it is that a Z?" Joker said as smelled a familiar scent. However he just shrugged it off and ate the treat.

"Huh, why does this cupcake taste like Za...sz... OH GOD DID I JUST!?" Joker said as he tried regurgitating the treat he ate.

"What the hell got you worked up about?" Said Harvey Twoface as he finished playing a round of 'How to kill the Bat?"

Twoface literally looked like he has two faces, his right side scar free and the left burned by acid. He was wearing a custom made white and black suit.

"I sent Zasz out to 'meet' some girl and I was given a cupcake with a 'Z' on it!" Joker ranted as he flailed his arms.

Twoface gave him a 'someone please kill me' look as he groaned in disbelief at the clown. Of course Twoface had to massage a headache he had from the vibration from the song from earlier.

"All right did someone sneak you Crack or anything, or did Justin Bieber finally break you?" Twoface said as he laughed at the last part.

"Ah fuck you!" Joker said as he flipped the finger at Twoface. A guard came by and handed Joker a smaller box that felt wet for some reason.

Inside the box was a sown Zasz doll with Zasz's real eyes sown in. Joker was a real crazy guy but being given a doll that has eyes spooked him a little.

"Alright this is really starting to creep us out. Who the fuck sends a doll with real eyes sown in?" Twoface said as he backed up a little.

"That new girl must be trying to ruin my reputation! Hell no, there's only one Clown Prince of Crime." Joker said as he dialed up a friend on the outside world.

"Hello Lex? It's Joker, listen I have a favor to ask. Before you say anything it isn't wig related, I just want to see if you know anyone that has an interest with three balloons. It's very serious! Oh good you'll do it sayonara," said Joker as he hung up his phone.

"He hung up on you didn't he?" Twoface said as he rested his left shoulder on the cell wall. Joker gave him a solemn nod telling him he was right.

"He hung up after hearing the word 'wig', talk about rude. At least I have the patience to listen before denying a favor." Joker grudgly said as he threw a dart at a picture of Luthor. He hit the picture in the crotch.

"Hmm, try something else to toy with this person. If you would excuse us, we have a bat to kill." Twoface said as he returned to his thinking.

Before Joker could think up a plan, some prison guards opened up his cell and took him outside of it. Joker had a confused look on his face and was taken to a room. A man with a gray beard gray glasses and was wearing a gray Doctor jacket was waiting for him.

"Ah well now you must be new here. Who are you suppose to be?" Joker asked the man as he sat across from him.

"Asshole," the man said and an offended Joker got up in his face for his rude remark.

"HEY WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE!?" Joker demanded from the man.

"I didn't call you an asshole, minus this one. You asked me my name and I told you. Asshole, Dr. Amos Asshole." Dr. Asshole told Joker.

Joker stared at the man with the odd last name in surprise. The cunning madman raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the reader of this story.

"In all my years as a comedian, I've never had heard of this in real life. How long before I retire?" Joker said to the viewer.


End file.
